UK LNAT essay #1:

 Hello. Today I would like to share an essay I wrote as part of my practice for the LNAT. (I have already submitted my application via UCAS, so fingers crossed).

This essay was written under timed conditions.

Typically, when I approach LNAT essays, I tend to do the following:

Intro:

1. Clearly state my position on the issue

2. Give a brief outline of the issues and points I will be discussing

Body paragraphs:

1. Include both arguments for and against the issue. It is vital to include both so as not to be writing a one-sided essay. The PEEL format is highly recommended in writing the points as it helps you to analyse and break down your points.(It is insufficient simply to state examples and facts-you have to show how they answer the question.)

2. Be wary of words such as "should" or "to what extent"  in the question. 

3. If time permits, include a counter-point at the end of each paragraph. This would be a one-liner detailing why the argument you proposed in the paragraph is flawed. This in turn would be followed by a reason why you think that counter-point should not be supported if you are planning to support the earier mentioned argument.

Conclusion:

1. Do not spend too much time on this portion. Simply summarise the ideas you have mentioned. However, try to always include a conclusion.

And now here is the essay. This essay was marked and reviewed. Enjoy:

‘Women now have the chance to achieve anything they want.’ How do you respond to this statement?

 This essay will argue that women do not have the chance to achieve anything that they want. Although there are now more job opportunities available to women in the past, societal, or religious attitudes, such as sexual discrimination, as well as “sex-specific” factors like uneven caregiving responsibilities continue to restrict any aspirations or objectives which women might seek to achieve[NC1] .

Women might be said to now have the chance to achieve anything they want because there is now a more diverse range of fields and occupations available to them. This is because there have been more inclusive employment policies designed to ensure that women are not underrepresented in the workplace[NC2] . For instance, in the past, in some occupations, such as politics, [NC3] there has been greater gender inequality, with fewer women being represented in these occupations. However, presently, there have been affirmative action policie[NC4] s, such as all women shortlists having been introduced by the British Labour Party to boost female membership. This gives women the chance to achieve anything they want because there is now greater equality of opportunity, meaning that women have same access to opportunities as their male counterparts. [NC5] This means that women can now be recognised based on their merit instead of being excluded on the premise of their sex, hence they now have the opportunity to achieve anything they want as they can now prove themselves with their skills and work performance[NC6] .

 However, the reason why women do not truly have the chance to achieve anything they want is because of uneven caregiving responsibilities. In some countries, the traditional family model is more prevalent and entrenched in society, meaning that males tend to be the sole breadwinners, while women are expected to be at home to look after the children. This means that women lack access to educational opportunities to uplift themselves, and therefore lack the opportunity to achieve any aspirations which they might have. [NC7] An extreme example of this is present-day Afghanistan, where women are denied basic tertiary education, and are under the supervision of their male counterparts because of extremely conservative religious attitudes. The lack of autonomy granted to women in other countries to self-govern their lives based on their desires outside of Western societies means that women cannot be said to have the chance to achieve anything they want[NC8] .

 

Additionally, women cannot be said to have the chance to achieve anything they want because presently, in both the workplace, or even in conflict resolution services, there are still misogynistic attitudes [NC9] being expressed by their male counterparts. The reason why this prevents women from achieving anything they want is because in a democracy, everyone is a social and political equal who deserves equal respect and consideration of their rights. However, in this case, because of misogyny, women do not have the right to work in a safe workplace or be respected with dignity like their male counterparts. An example is in the United States Army, where victimisation of females who file sexual harassment claims occurs[NC10] . There have been cases of women being discouraged from continuing with their claims because they have been told that their actions would impact upon the accused’s future career progression. As such, women do not truly have the chance to achieve whatever they want, because despite the material job opportunities being available to them, they are not treated as equals in the workplace[NC11] .

 

Therefore, in conclusion, women do not have the chance to achieve whatever they want because there are still present societal or religious attitudes prevalent which discriminate against women in the workplace. Women will only have the opportunity to achieve anything they want if they are treated as equals in their occupation and evaluated solely based on merit[NC12] .

---

 [NC1]Good, functional introduction. Well done.

 [NC2]Good!

 [NC3]Watch your grammar here.

 [NC4]Explain what you mean by affirmative action.

 [NC5]Very good! Well done for paying close attention to the question.

 [NC6]Well argued. This is very good.

 [NC7]Is this true? Are they not confined by the social pressure rather than lack of access?

 [NC8]Good link!

 [NC9]Define misogyny here.

 [NC10]Good example!! Well done.

 [NC11]Good link!

 [NC12]Good conclusion.